I Loathe Job Interviews

I really do not like interviews. No matter how much I try to just be myself or how confident I feel, I get nervous. Every single time. My stomach just goes into knots. No matter how well I prepare myself, I get nervous. I either talk too much or not enough, I stumble over myself or can't organize my thoughts into clear statements. I've been on a few interviews since I've graduated (May), three in the last two weeks.

What is disappointing is leaving an interview feeling really confident and then hearing nothing. I had one interview early in the summer at a small office for a office manager position where I talked with the woman (who happened to be co-owner) for around an hour. And we chatted beyond the normal interview questions, it was as if we were friends meeting for coffee. She was great, (I thought) I was great. Yet, I never got a call back.

Another interview that really got my blood boiling was when I had one at a literary agency in Manhattan. It took me a little over 2 hours each way by trains/subways to get to the interview and the woman I met, sat with me for BARELY 10 minutes. We could have done the interview over the phone. It was such a waste of time. And what really annoyed me was how the woman just stared me down. She asked me one question, why did I apply for the job, I told her how I want to do something with publishing and blah blah...then she said "Okay that's all I have, do you have any questions for me?" I was stunned. I was the one being interviewed, she was supposed to drill me with questions, not have me ask her questions. My mind went frantic! I spit out some sort of question and after her answer she said thanks and showed me out. I didn't know what to do, I was so confused and I felt so judged. She jut sort of stared at me the whole time (yes I was nervous and probably fidgeting, but still), I felt like she was criticizing me just by my looks. I had the feeling that I was stripped naked in Times Square.

One of the interviews I went on about two weeks ago was for an office position at a party production company. The man I met with was nice (he was late, but excusable because his wife is/was 9 months pregnant) and I felt good talking to him and I was really into the position since I'd be able to do a lot of what I did at Epiphany Magazine (writing, blogging, social media, etc). However it was not full-time, which I need benefits so that was a downer, and it was off-the-books so that was another downer. The pay was OK for off-the-books, but it wasn't more than what I currently make and since I have a Bachelor's Degree it was not what I SHOULD be paid (Yes, I know I'm not gonna make mega bucks to begin with wherever I go, but it would have to be more than what I currently make for me to leave).


The last interview I went on this past week was for a receptionist position at a large security/facility management company. I met the man on a Saturday evening (which was weird and I was sort of nervous considering I found the job on Craigslist) (my brother came with me because he didn't want me going alone, which worked out well because my GPS got me lost) and he was really nice. I filled out a formal application, we went over my resume and he told me more about the position, the expectations, pay, etc. I was really excited, all I kept thinking while interviewing and on the way home was how great the job sounded and how nice the guy seemed, that it should be good working for him, etc. He told me I needed to go for a second interview with the co-owner/manager and that I had nothing to worry about, I'm gonna be great.....The second interview...the co-owner/manager....was his wife! Which, okay I don't care. She was really nice and I felt good about the interview, until she didn't offer the job and simply said I'd know her decision by Friday.

I didn't get a call back. Which really felt like a jab, because the man pretty much said the job was mine, then the second interview I'm told no. Well, not no, but nothing.



My parents say it's because I'm above average looking and that women who are average or below average, don't want better looking women around them. Or even if they are good looking, if they see someone else that they think is the same or better, they don't want competition. Which I sort of buy that theory, it makes sense, but at the same time it annoys me because I'm young (these women have all been in their 30's or older) and I'd be working FOR them not against them, and I'm not out to get their man/men/whatever.

Actually....now that I'm thinking about it, I've never been hired by a woman. Any job I've had since I'm 16, all my managers or at least the hiring managers, have been men. Business women don't seem to like me, and I don't know why because I am not a threatening person. I hate confrontation. UGHHHHHH



I like the idea of multiple interviews, because I know "you only get one chance at a first impression" but sometimes people need to meet more than once to have a better idea of a person. Especially since I don't like interviewing, I don't know why I get so nervous, especially since I like talking to people, I work customer service for Christ's sake! I don't know if the people interviewing me sense my nervousness and that's a turnoff or what. I really don't know. I wish I knew.

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And in the meantime, I'm still waiting to hear back from Onward Publishers, which is frustrating because I really want to work there, it seems like a great place to work. The people, the environment, the industry, it's all very appealing and exciting to me. Unfortunately Onward is still waiting on a yay or nay from a big client, so until they get their answer, I won't have mine. Keep your fingers crossed, cause if they get it, then I get in!

Brief Book Review: Gillian Flynn's 'Gone Girl'

So I'm a book junkie and I'm always looking for something new/exciting to read. I read like 1-2 novels per week usually. One of the most recent books I've read is Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn and holy shit was it amazing! I need to read more by this woman because I couldn't put it down. I finished it in two days.

Gone Girl is a fictional novel about a woman who goes missing on her fifth wedding anniversary. Her husband is the main suspect in her disapearance. One of the things I loved most about the novel, and that is done so well, is the switching of perspective. Every other chapter or section is from either the wife or husband. The time also flip flops at times from the past to the present, but Flynn writes so well that the transitions are noticeable without being interruptive or  causing the reader to balk.


I'm not too good at writing reviews, I tend to say too much or too little, and I'm stuck because this book was SOOOO good and I want to talk about it, but I don't want to ruin it for future readers. So without saying much...the husband is the main suspect and with good reason! he has been framed for the missing/possible murder of is wife! by who? I cannot say. You'll have to read to find out. But I'll tell you this, it is a crazy plot twist that will leave you wanting more. You won't be able to put it down (unless you have bad taste in books).

I want more. My next trip to Barnes and Noble, I plan to pick up Dark Places and Sharp Objects, also by Gillian Flynn.

It's Been a While

Sooo I haven't written in weeks and I know I told myself that I'd write more, but I've been in a bit of a funk to write (lame excuse, I know). Things haven't been going as well as I'd hoped since my last post. I have yet to be assigned any proofreading work from Onward, however I'm in limbo because I was offered full time employment with them as long as they get this job/client they are expecting to get. So now as they're waiting to hear, as am I. In the meantime, I've been sending my resume out consistently, still with no success.

I haven't given up hope, though I will admit to having some minor panic attacks because of my anxiety around being a graduate without a "real" job or at least a job above retail/food. Now I'm not at all knocking on retail or food professions, I know for some people that's their career path, I'm just saying that for someone with a college education, they should be doing something more advanced in a sense. Otherwise what exactly was the point in spending years of time and money in school?

Almost a 'Real' Job

So I'm almost there! I'm still working my part-time retail job in hopes of getting a full-time job in my field of study, and have recently had a bit of success. After meeting with the businessman a week or so ago, who had forwarded my resume and contacted some people for me, someone became interested in me!

It isn't full-time work, but it's in my field and it's a start. I'm so happy and thankful for it! I'm now a proofreader at Onward Publishing, which is a small company in a town not too far from me on Long Island, NY.

The owner/founder was super friendly and helpful and was willing to give me a chance. He was very understanding in how difficult it is to gain work experience as a college grad. After conversing through email and over the phone, he gave me a test. He sent me a document to proofread to determine my skill level, and was impressed with my work. He has since offered me a job. I am so excited and thankful (I'm saying "so" a lot this entry because I can't emphasize enough the excitement) to be given this opportunity to further practice and develop my proofreading skills (and make a paycheck).

Everyone's gotta start somewhere.

As I've said before, I want (or at least think I do) to go into editorial, and proofreading is a sturdy stepping stone before that. I do enjoy proofreading, but unless you're doing it at a newspaper or a website, or something that's constantly changing or updating (or happen to be the sole proofreader at an entire company), it's not full-time work. So it's not exactly something you can live on or make a career out of.

BUT I DON'T CARE! Because it's a step in the right direction.

I'll be getting my first official assignment to proofread on Monday and I can't wait to get started!

Finding a Job

Finding a job is not easy. Ask any recent college grad. Or any recently unemployed person for that matter.

The one problem I keep running into is that I don't have valid experience. i.e. experience in the field I'm pursuing. Well, doesn't my degree say anything? Apparently not. Since having a college education is more common these days than say, 10 years ago. Which makes me think, that if one cannot do internships while attending school (because of the need for a regular paying job or some other factor), should someone go to work straight out of high school and then go to college after gaining some experience?

The other concern is my resume. At least, it wasn't a concern until I met with a successful businessman yesterday who caused me to question it. Yet, he had peeked at my resume and it must have caught his attention to call me into his office for a meeting. He told me the average amount of time someone looks at a resume is about 10 seconds, so it needs to stand out. He also asked me something that I am still pondering and has led me to posting a poll on Facebook..."Why is your education listed first? Why not your experience/skills?" I felt a gulp develop in my throat as I considered my answer.
"Well, that's how I was told to do it"
"By who?" he said, causing the knot in my stomach to grow.
"My professors....and a few other students and friends"
He found this interesting, and now so do I. So I'm still debating and polling on which is correct. So far, a majority of the responses I've been receiving lean toward listing education first. While a few other friends who don't have college degrees (coincidence maybe?), say to list experience first. Then I have one friend who responded by saying that it depends on which is more relevant to the position you are applying for. Which seems like the best reasoning.

I did find this article regarding resumes and why one may not be working, yet I am already aware of everything it has listed: 10 Reasons Your Resume Isn't Getting You Interviews so I don't think my resume is entirely the problem (I'm 90% sure it's not).

It wasn't until yesterday that I questioned my resume, maybe I should? I have sent it to at least 100 (probably more) job postings, with no success. (Well, I shouldn't say none entirely, I did go on two interviews that led nowhere.)

Then again, in such a highly competitive job market, it really could be just about WHO you know and not WHAT you know. This man, who I met for the first time yesterday through a family friend, is going out of his way to contact some people for me! I tried not to seem overexcited yesterday when he listed multiple people or places he had connections to, but I am! Even if it doesn't get me a job right away, but it gets me interviews or gets my resume into more hands, it gives me more of a chance. One thing that worries me though is my lack of experience (it always comes back to experience!). I am eager and willing to learn, I'm like a puppy ready to be trained! But this nice man gave me some other important (and frustrating) information––employers don't want to waste time or money training people, they want someone who already knows how to do the job and can get right to work. For every job there is an average of 5 people able to do the same job. So why not choose the person with 5, 10, or more years of experience? Thus, leaving me (and other college grads) in the dust.

One last thing he told me about the current state of the job market, "you need to be specialized". It used to be good to be well-rounded, but now people want you to be focused on one thing or in one field. Which I sort of realized, considering most people getting jobs are those in demanding fields (i.e. anything related to health). Now I need to focus on myself and what I want to do, which is difficult since I am well-rounded, I like a lot of different things and I'm willing to learn and do new things. It's also difficult since I only did one internship and lack *ding ding ding* experience, to know in which direction I definitely want to go. My fear is I do get a job as an editorial assistant or in a publishing company or as whatever, and what if I hate it?! Then what? What's plan B? Go back to school? I hated school, it took me 5 years to get my Bachelors, I don't want to do that again. Get a Masters? In what?

I DON'T KNOW....Because I NEED EXPERIENCE. Ha!

Writing and/or Working

I started this blog with the intent of sharing my writing and photos and other artsy stuff. However, that hasn't exactly happened yet. I'll admit, I've been both lazy and skeptical of blogging. But I love to write, so why not?

Since late elementary school/early middle school, writing became an outlet for my emotions. I would write whenever I was happy, sad, angry, nervous, etc. Any and every emotion, or spark of inspiration, I would turn to pen and paper. When I couldn't sleep at night, I'd write. Write whatever was on my mind, lists, dreams, nightmares.

I don't write as much as I used to. I should.

I'm trying.

One of my personal goals is to get back into writing on the regular.

English was always my best (and favorite) subject; I think because of my love of reading which turned into a love of writing. However, I didn't begin to appreciate writing until my freshman year of high school when I took my first creative writing class. My teacher forced us to do a variety of writing exercises and challenged us to write about subjects outside of our comfort zones. He annoyed me, Mr. C, I was so angered that I couldn't just write what I wanted. I challenged him, asking why, but he only challenged me back. This sparked my competitive nature, and I wrote what his assignments required and more. By the time I was ready to graduate, I knew I was going to study English further.

I went to Hunter College in NYC for English Language Arts, which most people associate with becoming an English Teacher, but I chose ELA because of the nice balance between both writing and literature classes (Also there were some English Language history courses thrown in, which were interesting). ELA was unlike English Lit, which was strictly reading/analyzing or Creative Writing, which was strictly writing workshop-type courses (and what are you going to do with a creative writing degree anyway? Just because you took the classes, it doesn't make you the next J.K Rowling) (and if you think about it, a lot of established writers and/or famous authors don't have writing degrees, just imagination and talent). Anyway, so here I am with my B.A. in ELA, and like most other college grads, I am jobless.

I would like to go into either editing or publishing, I'm not entirely sure. I do know that I like editing, I love to read other peoples work and find mistakes or simply make it a better read. (I've also been called a grammar Nazi by my best friend). In high school I was on the school newspaper, as both a reporter and eventually an editor. Senior year I became a co-editor for the overall paper. Unfortunately I didn't continue that route in college. I didn't join Hunter's newspaper or literary magazine or anything of that nature. I wanted to, I really did, but commuting from Long Island into the city made it difficult to commit to much, plus I worked and went to school full time, and was also on the fencing team at Hunter. I say editing or publishing because if I go the editing route, I can do that at a publishing company or a newspaper or magazine, or ultimately anything that requires an editor. If I go the publishing route, there are many different operations and functions within a publishing house, and who knows, maybe I'll discover something else about the industry I like.

Another thing that sucks is the lack of internship experience I have. I wasn't really able to do them because most are very demanding in hours of commitment and between work, school, commuting, etc. my schedule was crammed. I was lucky and able to do one in my last year of school at a literary magazine called Epiphany. My editors at Epiphany were great in their understanding of a busy schedule and I was able to do a lot of work from home (as well as participate in weekly meetings at headquarters). Since Epiphany is a small press, I often felt like my work was appreciated and I always felt like my opinion or judgement was valued (most particularly when reading through submissions to the magazine). Epiphany publishes both established and forthcoming writers of fiction, nonfiction, memoir, and poetry. The stories in each issue are so dynamic that there are many different themes, issues and emotions that arise from each one. One of my favorite things about the magazine is the cover art. The editors are diligent in choosing something unique, strange, artistic, or eye-catching, that no two covers are the same. Be sure to check out their website http://www.epiphanyzine.com/ and follow them on Twitter @EpiphanyMag

In the meantime, I search the newspapers and Internet constantly for possible jobs and continue to submit my resume to anywhere and everywhere appealing. It's tough being a college grad because when you're younger you're told to go to college and you'll get a good job (or a career), but then after you graduate you run into excuses that just your degree isn't enough. You need experience. But how can one get experience without being given a chance? Or you need connections. It's not always what you know, but who you know. Then again, no one said life was easy.

And the hunt continues...

Friday Night Face Off

Friday Night Face Off (FNFO) is a short-form improv comedy show in Port Jefferson, NY (on Long Island) that has been running since 2002. It has become one of the most successful, longest running comedy shows in New York. It runs every Friday at 10:30pm at a local theatre, set on a pleasant main street. The location is key, as there is plenty to do around the area. With an assortment of restaurants and bars, you could grab something to eat or drink (or both!) before or after the show.

The show uses audience participation and suggestions, making it a fun and interactive night of entertainment. The show is run by a host and pits two teams of improvisers (usually 2 or 3 per team) against each other. The improvisers are challenged to different games throughout the night using a variety of skills and techniques, and a lot of quick wit, that often has the audience laughing their faces off (no pun intended).

I first experienced FNFO back in high school when a friend suggested we go one night to do something different. It was fun and I did laugh. A LOT. I ventured back a few more times, but then had forgotten about it, until years later, when my current boyfriend became a member of FNFO. My boyfriend, who has no acting or comedic experience, went for an open audition three years ago and received a call back. He is naturally funny and has a great sense of humor, and the guys at FNFO could see the potential he had. With lots of rehearsal, he became a regular and is now one of the fan favorites.

Since he became a part of the show, I became a regular in attendance as well. And in the last year I've become an intern with FNFO, though I have no desire to get on stage! I handle the behind the scenes work, such as their social media outlet (Facebook), promoting, setting up and cleaning up the stage area, meeting and talking with audience members, but most of all I am their photographer. I love taking photos, it's been a hobby of mine for as long as I can remember. I normally take photos of objects, places, landscapes/scenery, but since FNFO I've added people and portraits to my repertoire. I take photos of each of their shows and put them online for all to see. Click https://www.facebook.com/FridayNightFaceOff and be sure to "like" the page to see the photos, as well as up-to-date happenings surrounding the show.

*For humorous tweets follow @FNFO on Twitter
*For more info check out www.fridaynightfaceoff.com or www.faceoffunlimited.com
*To see videos from past shows, just search Friday Night Face Off Improv on YouTube or search by the username: johnxpaulxgeorge